Debut CD available on iTunes!

BEFORE WE START: This new email format is rockin’ my world, as you can tell, but I learned the hard way that these emails don’t forward with the pictures in them.  (Arghs.)  SO, if you’re forwarding this missive to a friend, might I suggest that instead you send them to our BLOG page?  Then they’ll be able to read it all for themselves and see the purty pictures too!

And now we begin…

Yes, it’s that time again.  Time to sit at your computer, grab a cup a’ joe, (or a pint a’ bitter might work better for this experience), ready your hand on the scroll bar, and squint at this screen for the next ten minutes.  Ahh, yes.  It’s that time when I regale you with tales from my inner-mind, with subjects so utterly random and facts so useless that you can nary help but say, 

“Why?  Why do I read this thing every month?  Why do I lock my office door and turn off my phone so I won’t be disturbed as I pore through this endless drivel?”

You will also wonder, 

“Is that the correct spelling of “pore” in this context?  Because I feel like I always see it spelled that way, but really it makes more sense to spell it “pour,” as in “pouring over” something.”

And mostly you will ask yourself,

“Why don’t I have anything better to do right now?”

Well people, I can’t help you there.  But I CAN say that I’m glad you’re here with me, to spend a little time each month, to hear about all the goings on of the happy problem and everyone’s favorite snarky gal, the Punky Chef, to watch me fight with myself and with imaginary you–

We’re not fighting with you, Sam–

Exactly.

 

We have a few things to cover this month, (yes I know it’s the 16th already – just humor me, people), and the biggest one is that I just completely MISSPELLED the name of this years’ Maribel Garcia Community Spirit Award. She is not Joran Sequiera, she is Joran SequEIRA.  Sing it loud!  Shout it from the rooftops!  And for goodness sake, spell it correctly!

Yes, nothing like spelling someone’s name wrong to really show them you care.  And I should know how frustrating that is, after a lifetime of “Shaver,” “Schaber,” and even the occasional “Schreiber.”

Now THAT one takes effort.

So, my huge apologies, Joran SequEIRA.  We really appreciate the work you’ve done in the Ithaca community and we are so happy to honor you with this years’ Maribel Garcia Community Spirit Award.  And I must give special thanks also to Lisa Elliot St. John in the Cornell Public Service Center, for helping us coordinate the applications and award selection each year, and to my partner in Fund, Amy Rosenberg at Goats.com.  I also must thank YOU for all your wonderful donations.  We hope that you will keep them coming!  

And you can see pictures and read all about Joran and the programs she’s developed through the Cornell Elderly Partnership at the Fund’s Facebook page, or on the Saminating Shabermurs blog.  Also to donate, see pictures of Maribel, and read about the previous recipients, please visit the Maribel Garcia Community Spirit Fund website.

Ah!  So that is something less trivial I needed to share with you.  I also want to let you know something exciting, which is that the happy problem are now available for your listening pleasure on PANDORA RADIO!

(pandora.com)

Yes, this is the totally addictive internet radio system in which you plug in any band you like, and it FINDS OTHER MUSIC IN THAT SAME VIBE that you will also (mostly) like!  If you put in Nirvana, you also run into Pearl Jam.  If you put in The Killers, you also get Franz Ferdinand.  And if you put in the happy problem, you’ll get other totally obscure bands like The Knees, Mud, and Radio America.

No, I’ve never heard of these bands either.  At least I hadn’t until I just listened to them on Pandora – and now I’m AHEAD of the curve, baby.  Impress people at parties by talking about bands that are so cutting edge, NO ONE’s ever heard of them!  And all this glory can be yours just by plugging the happy problem into your Pandora music player for FREE.  AWWWW YEAAAH!

Sorry.  I have a broken ankle so I’ve been sitting around ALOT lately and I’m feelin’ just a bit PUNCHY.

Broken ankle??!?

Yeah, I’ll tell you about that in a minute.  It’s in the trivial section.  BUT FIRST!  More important things: 1. the happy problem are now available for PRIVATE PARTIES in Southern California.  Interested?  Email sam@thehappyproblem.com or call 917-453-0502 to find out details and rates.

AND 2. the happy problem could be on NPR!  Okay, well not yet.  Not actually ON NPR.  But the brilliant folks at All Songs Considered are asking YOU to tell THEM who the best bands are.  This is your chance to spread the happy problem gospel!  Just visit the All Songs Considered blog page, and leave your comment!

AND 3.  The Punky Chef is going strong…

Yes!  Come visit me at The Punky Chef Attacks!  I will fill you with optimism and snarkiness, and show you that you, yes YOU can cook, that it is POSSIBLE, and that it is even FUN.  And we will talk about the glory of Farmer’s Markets and Parmesan cheese and Ina Garten (my cooking idol), and dressing-up Thai leftovers as though you made it yourself.  THIS IS NOT YOUR MOTHER’S COOKING BLOG.  (Does anyone’s mother have a cooking blog?)  Come find out about wine-infused brussels sprouts, free-range turkey meatloaf burgers, and chocolate-strawberry-walnut cornbread.  And best of all, you can LISTEN to the happy problem while you’re cooking!  Now how great is that??

    

(Food by Punky Chef, Sam Shaver.)

AND 4. the happy problem VIDEOS!  This is a quickie – just remember you can always watch lots of happy by going to our YouTube channel.  Lots of recent LIVE PERFORMANCES, plus our first music video featuring the cutest kids this side of the Mississippi!

Ahh, and now we’ve come to the trivial section.  (My favorite part, as you know.)  And our first order of business, is that I’ve broken my ANKLE.  Oh yes, so exciting.  And oh no, I don’t have a good story to tell.  I wasn’t snowboarding, surfing, riding a motorcycle with Brad Pitt – no no, my friends!  You overestimate me.  

(Self Portrait by Sam Schreiber.)

So what were you doing, Sam?

Um, walking.

Walking.

Yes.

Walking on ice?

No.

Walking on drugs?

Not even.

Just walking.

Yes.

You were just walking along, and POP, you broke your ankle.

Yes.

Wow.  That IS quite a story.

Well I told you so.  I’ve heard about how no one walks in Los Angeles, and I kept thinking how lazy they were and how I would get the better of all of them by being the first LOS ANGELES OFFICIAL WALKING PERSON, and how I PRACTICALLY AM that person.  

But while I’ve been patting myself on the back about this, I’ve been noticing a few things.  There are actually REASONS why no one walks in LA, and it’s not always because they think it’s cool to be seen valet parking, or because they can hear their cell phone conversations better from inside an air-tight metal container.

That is partly the reason, though.  Let’s be honest.

But the other reason is that LA has made it physically IMPOSSIBLE to walk.  Here’s a visual example of what I mean:

Oh I’m sorry – need a close-up?

Remember Shel Silverstein’s “Where the Sidewalk Ends?”  Who knew he was talking about Los Angeles, eh?

Now, many of you are thinking, “Well of course you can’t walk there, Sam.  That’s clearly just a curb.  Silly you!”

BUT NO!  I started this block – a very major street called Gower mind you, which runs the entire side of Paramount Studios in Hollywood – I started this block when it was a FULL sidewalk – at least three people wide (which is as full as they ever get out here.  Everything’s relative, don’t forget.)  But then, as I headed North, in full view of the Hollywood sign itself, the sidewalk just dwindled, until it was a face-off between me and this light pole.  And guess who won?

So it’s not totally remarkable that I broke my ankle just by walking, but it is a little embarassing.  And it all happened so quickly and there’s no instant replay with the sport of walking, so I’m not entirely sure what happened.  But I was leaving a play (yes! A real live theatrcal event in Los Angeles!  I KNOW – crazy, right?) and a friend called out to say goodbye one more time, (because you know they love me here in LA), and I whirled around to wave dramatically while still taking a step forward and suddenly WHOOP!  Down I went.  I think I stepped on the beginning of a slanted driveway or some such nonsense. 

Anyway, here I am with this giant black Velcro boot on, trying to pretend it’s punk rock, but secretly relishing the days of glory when I could do something as exciting as walk to the post office.

Yet, it doesn’t totally ruin my image, I suppose, considering our last show found me in what are actually called “Yeti Boot Sleeves”:

What ARE those things?

Photo by Violet Koncz

Yeah, they are literally called Yeti Boot Sleeves.  I saw them in the window of one of those stripper shoe stores on Hollywood Boulevard, and after watching “Pretty Woman” a few more times to screw-up my courage, I marched in there and bought ‘em.  And they have now proceeded to shed all over my apartment (and my socks).  BUT!  At least they match the boot.  Oh – did I show you my boot?

Yes Sam, we saw your boot.  It is very punk rock and yes, it is hauntingly similar to your Yeti Boot Sleeves.

It’s also a lot like my regular boots:

Photo by Joy Guest.

Sam?

Yes?

We are beginning to think you broke your ankle on purpose to have an excuse to post all these pictures of yourself.

Hmm.

Well?

Um, no I don’t think that’s it.  Though I am enjoying this new email feature which lets me post pictures!

But do they all have to be of YOU?

No, no, they don’t.  Sometimes I post pictures of cute animals:

Ok, that IS cute.

Yeah?  Check out THIS one:

Yeah, that’s cute, too.  Um, Sam–

WAIT!  How about THIS one???

Um, yeah, awesome.  Now–

HOLD ON!

Sam–

OK!  ENOUGH!  WE GET IT.  YOU LIKE CUTE ANIMALS.  (And really, that last one is ridiculous.)  Fine, so you don’t just post pictures of yourself.  You win.

Thank you.  I told you so.  

Yes.

Can I show you my boot again?

No.

Fine.  But what I WILL say is that the happy problem are excited to be coming your way very soon.  East Coast tour in the works for September, possible recording of some new tunes this summer, all kinds of cool stuff happening.  AND…

BRING US TO YOUR COMPOUND!  Yes, if you want to hear the happy problem in your very own town – nay – even in your very own home, we are available for private parties in the Northeast between September 22nd and October 3rd.  I should warn you, we are LOUD.  There are no acoustic guitars involved with this happiness, people.  It is not so much a living room thing as a COMPOUND thing because you will need some space for the rocking out.  But if you want show us off to your friends and you have a space that works, get in touch!  Email sam@thehappyproblem.com or call 917-453-0502 and we’ll discuss rates, logistics, etc.

And now that you feel sorry for my ankle and happy for the world knowing that the wonderful Joran Sequeira is in it, I must leave you.  It’s time for some new Punky Chef recipes, and also I have to go to the bathroom, which takes about ten minutes of travel in my current state, so I need a head start.  (I’m sorry – was that too much information?)

BUT ONE MORE THING!  After having a blast at this years’ NAMM Music Conference, we picked-up endorsements with two great companies – GHS Strings and Rocktron Pedals.  Great products and great people, so all you musicians out there, getcha goods wit dem!

And with that, my boot and I must take our leave.  Have a wonderful MaHappyay ProbleMay, and hope to see you out there!

wuv,
Sam 

p.s. May I recomend that you SUBSCRIBE to this blog?  You can even take yourself off the old email list in that case.  How cool is THAT?